There is no such thing as a bad cat. Cats, like humans, dogs, and so many other creatures want love. The image of a cat as an aloof, uncaring pet is caused by misunderstandings of cat behavior, psychology, and needs.
My cat is a sweet, caring, affectionate creature who only wants to love and be loved. It wasn’t always this way. We have been together for 16 years, and have a deep bond, but when she was young it was not always so easy.
Starting Out
When she was young she seemed disinterested in me, and was even aggressive at times. The only person she seemed interested in was my boyfriend, and this was a cause of some hurt and, frankly, jealousy for me. I rescued her, when she was a lost little kitten. She was supposed to be my cat, my previous cat had died. Why didn’t she love me?
When I started to think about it, I realized something important. My boyfriend seemed to know more about cats than me. He started giving me tips about how to interact with her, and it started working.
For instance, I would give her loud, sloppy kisses on the top of her head, and she would run away from me. He said that the high pitched noise I made irritated her, so if I wanted to kiss her, don’t make the smooching noise. It worked, she started to tolerate my kisses instead of running from me every chance she got.
When I would pet her, she would seen to enjoy it for a few minutes, but then her tail would start to swish, and then she would turn, seemingly without warning, and bite the hand that was petting her. I didn’t understand, I just wanted to show her affection.
He explained that cats have an extremely sensitive nervous system and could easily become over stimulated, leading to negative behaviors. I learned to concentrate on her preferred areas, like the scruff of the neck, and limit petting other areas to short sessions. I also learned to watch for signs she was getting over stimulated, such as ear position, tail swishing, and twitching.
Getting Close
All of this served to improve my bond with my cat, and it also improved her behavior. I started to realize that, without knowing, I had been the cause of many of her negative behaviors.
Other bad behaviors were simply cat instincts that needed redirecting. I realized that the best way for me to deepen my bond with my cat, and to adjust things I saw as negative behaviors, was for me to learn about cats – their behaviors, needs, instincts, body language, etc.
I believe that the vast majority of problems pet owners encounter can be linked back to elements in their own behavior towards their pets, or in the environment they provide for them.
Misunderstandings
One excellent example of this is dog bites. The majority of dog bites each year are caused by a person approaching the dog, or trying to pet the dog, in a manner the dog finds threatening or frightening. For instance, most people know to approach a strange dog slowly and let the dog smell them before trying to pet them.
However, a lot of those same people will then start petting the dog on the top of their head, which the dog finds frightening because it cannot see their hand. This can trigger the dog to bite, seemingly “out of nowhere.”
In reality it is a natural, instinctual reaction caused by the human’s well-intentioned misunderstanding of dog behavior. A far better, and safer, alternative is to begin petting the dog on the side of their face, which the dog enjoys, and feels safe with.
In the Wild
As much as this is true with dogs, it is more true with cats. A dog is a pack animal, conditioned by instinct to know that there is a pack leader, and the other members of the pack must follow their lead.
Cats are not natural pack animals. They are capable of living in a group in the wild, but are equally at home living solitary lives. This means that the cat feels less inclination to modify their behavior to please their owner, they are notoriously independent and don’t worship their owner the way a dog does.
Companions for Life
Cats can be the most affectionate and loyal of companions, but that is what a cat and its owner are – companions. The cat, as best we can tell, sees you as just another cat, not its master or leader.
So if you want to have a close relationship with your cat it is important for you to meet them in the middle, learn about their behaviors, needs, etc., be the companion they need and deserve, and watch their love bloom!
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